Reasons...

So a couple nights ago, Chris and I were watching "Just Go With It" on TV.  And the one part of the movie that really left an impact on me, is where Devlin and her husband (the sorority competition) were telling each other 3 things they loved about each other every time they parted.  While, in the movie, they end up getting divorced, it got me to thinking.  Why not tell each other what we love about each other.  Everyone likes to get their ego stroked every now and then, and to be honest I would like to know what qualities I have that Chris loves.  So, of course curiosity got the best of me, and I asked for 5 reasons.  These are the reasons I got: 

1. my personality (a little broad for my liking, but I told him he could expand on that later)

2. my smile

3. the way were so compatible, and can give each other all kinds of crap, and none of it is taken seriously

4. the way I let him be part of the kids life

5. my aura, the way I glow when Im around him (funny he should list this as one of his reasons, because everyone claims that Im glowing these days.  When you are overly happy with your life, apparently you glow!)

I was pretty happy hearing the reasons that I am loved.  And while he hasn't asked for reasons as of yet, I am going to come up with as many as I can.  

1. his eyes, its like they can see right through me

2. his smile, it doesn't matter what kind of mood I'm in, all he's gotta do is smile that awkward little smile, and I can't even remember what I am upset about. 

3. his laugh, as cheesy as it may sound, that laugh can melt my heart

4. the way he talks, even with as much as much flack as I give him about it, I love the way he talks. I vow that I am not going to pick up on the redneck southern accent, but I do find it adorable.  

5. the way he interacts with the kids.  Ive always known that he's been good with kids, but he loves to spend time with them.  He has taken a genuine interest in being part of their lives.  And they need that.  And I need them to have that kind of relationship in order for this to work.  

*I might point out that this whole thing would probably be easier if I would write all the things that I don't love about him, because honestly, there are only a couple things that come to mind, and one of those includes his love of his own flatulence.... 

6. the way that my head fits perfectly into that crook on his shoulder.  Its never uncomfortable, it just works.  Every time.  

7. the way he will cuddle all night.  Never before have I been able to cuddle all night, but I can. And I love it.  

8. the way he has tried to change what I thought a relationship was supposed to be like.  He has made sure to show me that it should be a partnership in every way, shape and form.  While it has taken me some time, I am slowly adjusting to this new found way of life.  

9. the way he is always himself.  He never puts on a front, or tries to be someone he's not.  If you don't like it, then its your loss, not his.  

10. the way he never lets me forget that he loves me.  He is always telling me that he loves me, and every time those words leave his lips, I get that warm feeling with a side of butterflies.  

I can think of hundreds more little things that I love about that boy.  But basically, it all boils down to one thing.  I am MADLY in love with him.  

Its Complicated (The movie)

Ive said for quite some time now that our story is going to make one really good movie.  And honestly, it really is one of those stories that movies are made out of.  So Im going to write it down in a blog, in hopes that maybe someday a movie producer will come across it, and eventually write a movie about us.  


Back at the end of 2005, I was well on my way to becoming a college dropout. I was still somewhat strung out over my high school relationship. And I needed a change of pace.   For some reason that I don't really remember, I was introduced to a website called hotornot.com.  At first, I was just doing the rating thing, and then decided, what the hell, why not make a profile.  While my rating wasn't anything fantastic, I did contact a few people via mail and made a couple friendships.  There were two guys that contacted me though that really had me interested. One of them was in an Army uniform with a stupid grin, and the other was a redneck holding a fish.  Two people, completely different, with the same name.  (until recently I didn't know that they have a few stupid little things in common) Anyways, I was in contact with the southern one, via email, and eventually texting.  The Army one, I was in contact with and eventually met up with, because he was a recruiter, and I was strongly considering joining, because I really wanted out of my parents house and out of my hometown.  He and I hit it off, and became really good friends.  I ended up moving into his house in Wamego, while working in Manhattan.  Meanwhile, I was still in contact with the southern version, talking on the phone and via text, and had hung out quite a few times. I thought of him as one of my bestest friends.  I had fallen for this boy.  Hook, line, and sinker.  I was so confused.  He wanted to hang out, and we talked quite a bit, but never really mentioned having any feelings toward me.  I knew he was kinda seeing another girl, but didn't really know where that was at.  And I wasn't comfortable bringing up my feelings for him, just to be shot down.  So I never mentioned anything.  In August, I went to a wedding with the roommate, and we ended up taking our relationship to the next level.  In September, we all hung out together around my birthday.  Feelings about anyone was never mentioned.  At the end of October, I got an IM on yahoo. He had gotten married.  This was news to me, and it hit me like a wrecking ball to the stomach.  But that was just as well, because 2 days later, I found out Army Chris and I were expecting a baby.  That wedding is what did it.  So on November 15, less than a month after he had gotten married, I got married too.  My marriage was rocky to say the least, we still talked every now and then.  My heart always skipped a beat anytime he popped up on my yahoo chat. And he always said "whats up peckerhead". Thats what I was known as.  And while some people would think that it was rude, I found it endearing, and still do.  Time went by, but not a day went by without me thinking about him.  At least once a day, I would do something where I would think of him, or he would cross my mind.  I would wonder what he was doing at that very second, or if he was happy.  When we talked, our relationships weren't really discussed.  I had Camryn, and I knew he had moved to Tennessee.  In April 2010, Batchman and I almost got divorced, I just couldn't take it anymore, but I decided to tough it out.  Little did I know, that at that very same time, Chris and his wife were going thru the same thing and almost separated then too.  Towards the end 2010, Chris and I had talked, and he had told me he was trying to get on the Nashville fire department, and he was fixing to take tests to do that.  I had called to see how he did after.  Still only talked every now and again.  I believe it was about May or so of this year, I got a phone call from him, saying he was going to be in Olathe, (he's  a truck driver too). He called that night, from Olathe, 10 minutes from my house.  I couldn't bring myself to go see him in person.  I was so scared that all the feelings I had pushed to the side for 5 years would come rushing back.  So I talked to him on the phone, but never went and saw him.  The phone calls came more regular then, and came on an almost everyday basis.  I told him everything that was goin on in my life, how miserable I was and that I was getting separated because I couldn't do it anymore.  Then one night, he called and he was going to be in Kansas City.  It was late, and my friend Shelly, who was living with me at the time, kept at me about going to see him.  So I did.  I drove and hour, got lost once, and went to see him.  And, as soon as I walked up to his truck, it all came back, just like I was scared would happen.  And then, I got the hug.  And the rest of the night was just a blur.  I remember laying there, talking about everything, catching up, and just being truly happy for 5 hours, that I didn't want to ever end.  We talked everyday, sometimes all day, after that. I still didn't really know what was going on with him. Eventually, one day he finally told me that his marriage wasn't all roses, and he wasn't really happy. I still at that point had not told him how I really felt.  But one night, with the help of a little alcohol, he set up the opportunity for me to come clean. The next morning, I told him that I had fallen for him a long time ago, and I wasn't looking to get hurt again. He didn't have a clue that I had felt that way, and eventually came to say that he too had fallen for me, but didn't want to interfere with the relationship Batchman and I had.   The next time I went and saw him, I brought Camryn with me.  It took her awhile to warm up to him, but once she did, she loved him.  The next time, I brought both kids with me, and Bradyn liked him too.  He, by that point, had made up his mind that he wanted out of his marriage, and she moved out in the middle of August.  Also in August, Batchman decided that it would be a good idea to introduce his kids to a girl that he met off a craigslist ad, which had me slightly  more than riled up, and I made the decision on a Friday night that the kids and I were moving to Tennessee. (I might need to add that Chris had already mentioned that he had a place for me and the kids if and when I wanted it) The following Saturday, I had packed the entire house, and the kids, and we were moving to Tennessee.  The entire trip here, I was over thinking, wondering if I was making a huge mistake, rushing things.  But when I pulled and finally got here, all it took was one smile, and I knew we were right where we belong.  Rushing things? Probably a little, but we have waited a long time for this kind of happiness, and we have "wasted" a lot of time. 


So we are almost 2 months into this, and honestly I have never been happier.  I can't wait to see where this will go.  I have high hope for the future.  

Never been that girl....

I've never been that girl that people say "I wish I had what she has".  I have become that person, and its still sinking in.  I always seen people on Facebook or in public and wished I could be that happy.  Now that's me... It took a long time and some very hard decisions to get to this point, but I'm here, and I love it.  I have my fair share of haters to go a long with this new found happiness, and people that don't feel like supporting me, (family members included) but I'm doin me.  I haven't been this happy in well...forever.  And I really hope this happiness can last well...forever!

April 26, 2011: a very important day

Why is April 26, 2011 so important? Well, because it's the day I stopped caring. I still care about myself, and my kids... But that's it. I don't care what people think, I don't care about some people that I cared about yesterday. Why? Eventually, you reach a point in your life that you hit that roadblock that just makes you not give a damn anymore. For me, that came today. Mostly because I realized its a dog eat dog world out there, and no one else besides myself really cares about my success or happiness. The people that should care, are way too self absorbed to even take notice of anything else, and while I find it incredibly annoying, I too, am going to do the same. While I'm not exactly sure how I should be feeling right now, I'm pretty sure I shouldn't be feeling as exhilarated as I actually do. And knowing that, I'm sure that I will be making lots more changes in my life in the near future. And the changes I make, won't cater to anyone's happiness, except for mine and my kids.

Laundry day = nudity

No, laundry day doesn't equal nudity because I waited that long to do it, and we're out of clothes... It equals nudity because if everyone in my household goes naked on laundry day, that means for one brief day, IM CAUGHT UP ON LAUNDRY!!!
Why, oh why can't this be legal??
I'm actually not sure why I hate laundry so much... I mean the washer does most all the work. Ok, I know why I hate it... It's the FOLDING and HANGING!! Its so time consuming, and let's face it, most of the time it sits in the laundry basket until the next time it's wanted to be worn, and then it's quickly spritzed with water and thrown in the dryer for a couple mins to release the wrinkles. (and all those wrinkle releaser products lie, they don't actually work). On top of that there's a lot of clothes that I can't put in the dryer because they shrink, so then I have tons of clothes hanging in doorways and on dryer racks in various rooms of the house. So basically, laundry is just a big mess. That I am NOT A FAN of.

Photoshop CS5

My newest venture, Photoshop.  

Unfortunately, I know absolutely nothing about it.  

Fortunately, they have youtube videos for tutorials.

Unfortunately , my internet is slower than molasses and will not allow me to watch said videos. 

Fortunately, they make books to teach you  the same thing. 

I will have to make a point to invest in some of these books, so I can learn to do some photoshopping. 

I am very excited to learn how to do all this, but it seems very overwhelming at the moment.  Hopefully, some good pictures will come out of the adventure. 

I am trying much harder to keep taking pictures, and I am ready to start getting serious about the kids' scrapbooks.  Like I need more on plate?!  The weather is just starting to get nice outside, so the kids want to be outside all the time, which does not leave much time for indoor hobbies.  

But hey, at least the weather is finally start to straighten itself out! 

 

 

Why is this so HARD??!!

I want to know why it is so hard for me to keep this darn thing up to date... I mean, I always have the best intentions of coming up with something super enlightening to post about, and then I fail to do the posting part.  And by the time I actually want to post something I have forgotten all the things I actually wanted to post in the first place.  Ugh...

On another note, the challenge thing was a major fail.  I might even venture to say: epic.  I made it 3 days on the encouragement challenge, and the photo challenge just never took off.  I may try the photo one again...well see.  I got a new computer (macbook air) and have to set up the photo part of it sometime I guess.

The hubby has been in texas all week, and should be returning late tonight, or early tomorrow morning.  While I admit that its been kind of nice to be on my own schedule for the most part, I cannot wait to have some help with the munchkins.

I had the worst parenting experience yesterday at a consignment sale.  Bradyn wanted me to buy this hot wheel toy, that I did not think that he needed, and it wasnt 50% off.  Of course it had to be sitting right there at the dang checkout.  He absolutely threw a fit! Could hardly get out of the ballroom that the sale was in, let along trying to carry this huge back of stuff that I had bought and Camryn down the escalator, all while trying to help the fit throwing Bradyn down it.  Once we finally got out to the van, and I got him buckled and am working on getting Camryn belted in, he proceeds to unbelt himself, open the door, and try to go running back to the convention center.  I was soo incredibly frustrated.  Prior to that, I was so proud of myself for getting out and doing all these things, ya know, just me and the kids.  And it was after I was driving down the road trying to regain composure, that I realized why I dont like to do it all that much.

Well, I have a thousand things that need to get done, such as the house needs to be cleaned, and I have GOT to start going thru the stuff for the garage sale.  I am dreading all that.  I am so ready for it to be done and over with!

I will try to do better at keeping this up to date, but don't hold your breath!! ;-)